Just Make the Call: Moving Forward When You Can’t Please Everyone
By Jason R. Roske
Owner, KC Auction & Appraisal Company
There comes a point in every estate process where you realize that waiting for the perfect moment, perfect solution, or perfect approval from everyone involved just doesn’t work. At some point, you have to make the call—and move forward.
That’s where I’ve found myself recently. After months of uncertainty, planning, and emotional weight, I’ve started making real progress with the estate. And with each decision, I’m reminded of a simple truth: momentum creates momentum.
Movement Breeds Clarity
The second home in the estate—belonging to my friend’s late partner—was listed and under contract within 48 hours. That quick success was energizing. Then, we held an estate sale at the main residence last weekend, clearing out the everyday household items. While I haven’t seen the final numbers yet, over 90% of the contents were sold. The team managing the sale even started cleaning out the house immediately so I could get real estate agents in and start preparing it for listing.
None of this would’ve happened if I hadn’t made the decision to move forward—quickly and with confidence. Less than two weeks ago, the estate sale wasn’t even on the calendar. But because I had long-standing relationships with the people who managed it, we made it happen fast. The sale was necessary, and it made room for the next step.
And now? I’m motivated. I want to keep going. I want to see it through.
But It’s Not Without Roadblocks
Progress is never a straight line. There are still plenty of logistical hurdles—especially with multiple properties in play. Between the two estate homes, our personal residence, and the commercial building I own, just keeping track of what bills have been paid on which property is its own part-time job.
On top of that, naming and account issues are still being resolved. Some utilities and accounts are still in my friend’s name, others in his partner’s, and a few in the name of the estate. Every vendor—utilities, insurance, banks—has their own unique process and timeline. Some accounts may never fully change over, so long as the bills are paid. It’s messy, and it drags on your time and energy.
The Emotional Toll—and the People Who Help Shoulder It
I’ve been spending so much time with the estate that I often feel like my business is lagging. We’re still moving forward at KC Auction & Appraisal Company, but my focus is scattered. It’s hard to give the attention I normally would to upcoming consignors, planning auctions, or even daily operations.
Thankfully, I’m surrounded by the right people.
Amy Abshier, my manager of 19 years, has been a steady force throughout all of this. She’s reliable, calm, experienced, and keeps things running when I’m pulled away. She knows this business inside and out, and her loyalty and leadership give me the confidence to step away when I have to.
My wife, Stacey, has been my emotional anchor. She understands when I need space, when I need a push, and how to support me without ever making me feel like I’m dropping the ball. Her ability to balance empathy with gentle accountability is something I value more than I can express. Without her, this would be infinitely harder.
When people talk about “doing it alone,” I can say with certainty: I’m not.
The House is a Shell Now
After the estate sale, I walked through the main house. It’s empty now. Quiet. Vacant.
And frankly, it’s hard to see what it has become. Years of deferred maintenance are now fully visible—layers of dirt, dander, and nicotine.
The estate sale cleared out clothing, kitchenware, holiday decorations, patio furniture—the stuff of everyday life. Things that didn’t hold much monetary value but were still part of a life once fully lived.
We now have the final numbers from the sale, and they barely cover the cost to clean the house and prepare it for listing. On paper, it hardly seems worth it.
But the emotional return is something else entirely. Thousands of pounds of belongings have found their way into new homes instead of ending up in a landfill or donation bin. That matters to me.
Perspective and Progress
There’s a quote I heard years ago—one that’s floated back into my mind many times over the years and during this process:
“Nothing is ever as terrible or as great as it seems in the moment.”
The emotions come—grief, frustration, nostalgia, even hope—but eventually, the work begins. Real life continues. The next thing happens. Watching others react emotionally reminds me to stay grounded. That’s been key.
I also realize how fortunate I am to have connections in the estate liquidation world. I’ve spent decades in this space, and I can call in trusted people on short notice to help get things done. That’s not a luxury most people have. I honestly don’t know how someone without that background could manage a process like this—especially on top of the emotional weight. I feel for the people who are dropped into this situation every day without the tools or relationships to move things forward quickly. My timeline is fast, but I know it’s not typical.
This process isn’t easy. But each decision has helped carve a path through the mess. I’ve learned to trust myself, even when it’s uncomfortable. My friend trusted me to do this, and I know he believed I would do it right. That gives me the confidence I need when things feel overwhelming or unclear.
Next Up: What I’ve Learned So Far as an Executor
In the next post, I’ll take a pause and reflect. I’ve learned a lot in a short amount of time—not just about estates, but about people, priorities, grief, and what it means to carry someone else’s wishes forward. It won’t be a checklist. It’ll be real talk from someone living it. If you’re in the middle of it—or think you might be someday—I hope it will give you a little more clarity and comfort.
