Closure Is Complicated

By Jason R. Roske
Owner, KC Auction & Appraisal Company

Of course it closed 20 minutes after I published the last blog post.

The second house, the one we’d been waiting on for days, finally funded and closed less than a half hour after I hit “publish” on Blog Post #6. That timing is almost comical when you think about how long we’d waited—and how many obstacles we’d already cleared. But if there’s one truth I’ve learned as an executor, it’s that timing is never on your side.

Just because a property is technically sold doesn’t mean the weight lifts. It simply means there’s one fewer ball you’re juggling.

The Main House: Letting Go of Expectations

While one house is finally behind us, the main house has proven more complicated. This is the house I spent so much time in. The place filled with early morning conversations, haircuts in the salon, antiques traded and displayed, lives intertwined. Walking through its rooms now feels like revisiting echoes of another life.

Here, the market’s view clashes with memory. Deferred maintenance, cosmetic wear, and dated systems have made some visitors see a tear-down opportunity rather than a home rich with character. I respect that—location and lot size carry real value. But it’s tough to see a well-loved place reduced to its “land price.”

This week, we dropped the listing price by nearly 7% in response to direct feedback. By adjusting the number, I hope we’ll spark renewed interest—showings, offers, perhaps even that bidding competition we’ve been chasing. It’s a practical move, but it stings a bit: each percentage point feels like another piece of my friend’s legacy chipped away.

Still, I remind myself of his choices. He prioritized travel, experiences, and relationships over renovation budgets. That was his style—one I admired. Honoring his memory means accepting those decisions, even when they reshape my expectations.

The Estate Auction: A Public Farewell

This week also brought the open house for the estate auction—an event that pulled together both my professional expertise and my personal grief. I’ve written auction descriptions hundreds of times, but this catalog felt different. It was more than a list of items; it was a portrait of my friend’s life in vintage portraits, antique furniture, and quirky decorative objects.

During the open house, visitors weren’t just buyers—they were witnesses. They paused to share stories: “I remember when he found that piece,” or “He was the one who introduced me to antique fairs.” At the same time, they offered condolences: “I’m so sorry for your loss,” “Thank you for sharing this journey.”

Their kindness was deeply touching, but it also reminded me of the emotional labor required in this role. Reliving memories of his life—and the reality of its end—through every conversation can be draining. By the day’s end, I felt the physical exhaustion of a long workday combined with an emotional weight that no paycheck can compensate.

When Doubt Shows Up

Amid these tasks, doubt has begun to surface. I catch myself wondering: Did I price that house correctly? Should I have taken more time? These questions swirl in the quiet moments, like late at night when I’m reviewing spreadsheets or early in the morning before my first email.

I’ve also let my self-care slip. I find myself reaching for snacks when stress hits, skipping workouts when I’m already pulled in a dozen directions. I know that neglecting my body will only make this harder in the long run, but some days the emotional load just feels too heavy to carry anything extra.

Yet, I’m learning that acknowledging doubt—rather than trying to bury it—gives me a chance to course-correct. Recognizing fatigue, making time for a quick walk, or simply talking through a decision with Amy or Stacey helps me steer back on track.

Advice I Wish I’d Had

Over the past week, several friends have said they had no idea what being an executor truly meant until they read these posts. That realization drives this next piece of advice:

• For those naming an executor: Please, have an honest conversation. Outline your expectations—tasks, timelines, level of involvement—and give your executor a chance to ask questions.

• For those accepting the responsibility: Don’t shy away from clarity. Ask what’s expected financially, legally, and emotionally. Understand the time commitment before you say “yes.”

If I had asked my friend more questions before he passed, I might have felt more prepared—not necessarily less burdened, but with a clearer roadmap from the start.

Progress, with an Asterisk

So, where are we now?

• The second house is officially closed—paperwork done, funds settled.

• The main house sits fresh on MLS with a new price, drawing renewed attention.

• The estate auction is live, and early bidders are engaging with my friend’s collection.

• People outside this process are reaching out—seeking guidance, sharing their own stories, offering support.

Those are tangible milestones. But each one comes with its own footnotes: funding delays, price adjustments, emotional fatigue, and the looming task of final distributions.

There’s Still More to Come

Closure remains a moving target. Each week brings a mix of small victories and fresh challenges. But if this journey has taught me anything, it’s that momentum matters, even when it’s messy.

In the next post, I’ll dive into the final steps: wrapping up bank accounts, distributing assets, and—finally—finding personal closure. Until then, I’ll keep moving forward, one imperfect decision at a time.